Fear is Okay

Fear is an emotion because it allows our bodies to know when something is not good for us. For instance, we are afraid of lions because they could eat us, and we are afraid of fire because it could burn us. However, we as humans have developed fears of almost anything, and those are things that get in our way of pure happiness.

Let’s talk about everyone’s fear of change. No matter who you are, or where you stand in your life everyone fears change. I do not know if we as a species evolved this way or if we merely came upon this after years of development, but nonetheless it is society’s top fear. Especially when it goes completely against what you always believed was the “right” way. You will come to learn, however, that no matter what values were put in your head as a child, if what you are doing is not making you happy it is not the right way.

As humans, we often opt to stay exactly where we are even if we are miserable, rather than face our fear of change. 

I was that person for 21 years. I followed the trajectory I set out in my life from the beginning. The first thing my dad ever bought me, before there was even a crib for me to sleep in, was an educational baby book. He had big dreams for me. I was going to be an academic. I was going to be the smartest kid in class. I was going to dream big and achieve high.

Like most babies.. I was born average, but I worked my ass off to be the best.

When I was younger I had troubles with my reading ability. Once a week I would go up into this little old lady’s office and learned to read with magnets. Eventually, I was one of the best readers in my class. By the time I reached high school I was one of the top students. I graduated with an 89% average, and was accepted to one of the best universities in all of Canada: University of Toronto.

In my parents’ eyes, I was on the fast track to success. Sure, I had my setbacks, but I always continued on the straight and narrow.

I was also miserable 

I was an obsessive, self-hating snob. I didn’t care. I was going down the path I was set on from the time I was born. Whenever I felt down I would take my “average check”. It went a little like this:

Was I doing what an “average” person would do? Was I on a trajectory to have a “typical” job making six figures? Would I achieve my goals of owning a house by the time I was 26? Would I be able to get married by the time I was 27? Would I be having kids by the time I was 28? 

If I passed this test I would repress my anxieties and continue trucking. If not, I would steer away from whatever I was doing and continue to travel on the path that was going to get me to the average life I always wanted.

The thing is, I always knew deep down that this wasn’t what I really want. I always had visions of me writing a book, being on stage and presenting to others, and overall making a major impact on the world. But, like a lot of people, I was terrified of making a complete shift in my life. Going from science all the time, to public speaking and writing was something that terrified me to my core.

Then I found online coaching. 

Initially, I started this job as a way to pay for the superfood shakes I drink daily, but then I started to fall in love and soon I was changing everything I had planned for my life. I cancelled all of my applications to pharmacy school and Kirk and I made plans to move back to the country. I started making plans I never thought I would make. I started dreaming of travelling and paying for my own wedding. My aspirations were huge, and I was scared shitless, I STILL am!! But let me tell you this ….

I would rather be scared shitless than miserable. 

If you are miserable. If you want change, then DO IT. You are the only one who has control of your life. You are the only one who gets a say in what you can and cannot do. Get out! Change your major. Drop out of school. Open your own business. Travel the world. BE HAPPY. This life is too short to be anything BUT happy. Do not let what others say stop you from being happy.

 

 

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