Looking back on pictures from a year ago and I just want to grab that girl and hug her. She looked so sad behind her smile. She looked like she was barely holding it together, putting on a brave face for the world. She was so hurt, so lost, but yet she continued to try.
A little over a year ago I became a health and fitness coach. I originally became one to get back into shape. I hated what I saw in the mirror. My back fat disgusted me, and taking pictures literally broke my heart. I was a broke university student so there was no way that I was going to be able to afford the monthly purchase of the superfoods, but I knew I had to try something. So I became a coach, for the discount, and for the possibility to pay for my monthly orders of superfoods.
It soon became more than that.
As a coach one of our ‘vital behaviours’ or something we have to do to move our business forward, is to undergo personal development. Never in my life had I done that. When I was first diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD my mother bought me a handful of self-help books, but honestly .. I resented her for it. I could not read even a couple of pages without going into a full-blown anxiety attack. Looking back now, I was way too young. I had no idea how to reflect within myself, I was stuck in my ways, and I was scared to change.
But I became a coach because I needed change.
I dove deep into personal development, devouring every word. I started with how to build a successful life, which then quickly turned into building a spiritual practice. In October of 2017 I began meditating. I was not very good at it, but I continued to pursue it. By December I knew I could no longer continue on the path I was going. I dreaded going to school, having to push myself out of the personal development that I needed greatly just to get on the bus to make it to class. When I was in class I could not focus. I wanted to be reading, learning, and talking to others about the things I was actually passionate about. When it came to studying, I could barely concentrate. That was just not like me. I had always been an amazing studier, so I knew something had to change.
In January 2018, I cancelled my application to pharmacy school.
That was when my life changed forever. I went to class to graduate, but I began to focus on me more. I would spend more time on me then I did on my studies. My grades definitely reflected that, but I honestly did not care. My mindset also reflected that. I was happier, healthier and more at peace with who I was.
In April 2018, we moved back to the country.
That was when the adventure really began. I became a full-time coach, diving deep into me and what I really wanted out of life. I spent July and August really digging deep into my desires, and coming out the other side with a plan that I feel amazing about. I am currently a full-time coach during the day, and a part-time math tutor at night, while looking into becoming a holistic nutritionist.
When I look back on the pictures from the girl that I was a year ago. I feel sad. You could see how much she was hurting, how much she was holding onto something that was not serving her. You could tell how desperately she needed the change. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I look back at the girl from a year ago and I feel proud of her. Proud that she took the leap even when nothing worked before. Proud that she finally saw how worthy she was of health and happiness. Proud that she finally put herself first.
I look back on the girl from a year ago, and I just want to tell her… your life is going to change in so many ways, keep going.