Life is Grey

I think one of the reasons I am such a fan of the hit television series “Grey’s Anatomy” is because of its life lessons. Don’t get me wrong, the drama and the attractiveness of some of the characters (Karev and Avery) are definitely high up there on the list, but the life lessons are what get me every time.

I want to think in black and white. 

I want the world to have “good” and “bad”, but life does not work that way. I want a defined number when a parent can cut off their children. Is it when they first become an adult at the age of 18? Is it when they graduate from a university or college degree? Is it when they graduate from a graduate degree? Or is it when they are fully comfortable in their career? Then that leads me to what it means to be comfortable in a career. Is it when they can own a house? Is it when they no longer have debts? Is it when they reach a fixed amount of income? Those thoughts trouble me on a daily basis. I want to know if it is still appropriate to ask my parents to pay the interest on my loan, or to ask them to pay for the application for my next degree. Everyone around me seems to think it is okay, but then why does it feel so wrong to me? I do not NEED the financial support, but without it I would have to make sacrifices, and it was only recently that I was comfortable in my income.

Instead of being filled with turmoil, I came up with a fixed number. 

When I hit an income of $3000/month continuously I will no longer reach out for financial aid. With that income I will be able to pay down both my visa and my student loan with no effect to my daily life. But then I get to questioning.. is that too much to ask for? Is that number too large? Should I stop when I hit half of that? What is the appropriate number? Unfortunately, I will never know. Life does not have an instructions manual. It does not tell me when I should no longer require financial support from my parents, so I have to make it up on my own.

Of course “Grey’s Anatomy” does not go into these exact financial issues, but it presents its viewers with a new scenario every episode where the characters have to make a decision and there is a positive and negative to either choice they make. For instance, in season 14 Kepner goes through a time where she has lost God. Kepner is extremely religious, but after witnessing more than a few deaths of people who were seen as innocent victims she lost her trust in God. She could not understand why such good people would lose their lives, when ‘bad’ people still walk this Earth.

This hit me right in the feels. 

I can totally understand where this mindset comes from. Why do I have more than someone in a third world country? Why was I born here in Canada, and someone who is the same age as me was born in communist Russia? Why is my biggest issue that my car does not work, when there are children starving on the streets somewhere in Africa? What have I done better than an innocent child? The answer, I believe, is nothing. I have done nothing better or worse than someone in a different situation than me. I have done nothing worse than someone who does the same thing as me every day, started at the same time in the business as me, and is well ahead of me. I have done nothing better than someone who is on the street. I merely have a different life path, as do you. Your life does not look like mine because your life plan is different than mine.

I truly believe we are born with our lives already planned by the Universe. 

I believe we have two life paths, that intersect each other at every turn. Every day we make choices, and the choices we make bring us down one path or the other. Every choice we make has something positive and something negative, but we use our inner guides to choose the option that is best for us. Some people may continue down a path of negativity, but they always have that positive path there when they become free to choose again. Someone may be born with less than I was, but their lives matter just as much. They have a completely different life path, and although it may seem more painful and filled with sorrow than mine, it is just as important and their impact is just as influential.

Everyone was put on this Earth for a reason, you just have to surrender to find what that reason is. 

Wow, that post went deep. I was not expecting so much to come out of me when I thought of this topic last night on my drive home, but I am so glad that it did. The Universe is working through me, and it is using me as a vessel to remind you that you have a purpose, even if you do not know what it is yet.

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