After starting my first program, and announcing that I wanted to be a coach for the rest of my life I really began to dig deep into me. Coaching allowed me to go on a spiritual journey that I had no idea I needed so badly.
It all started with meditation cards.
As a prize in one of my coach’s challenge groups I received a box of meditation cards. Essentially, they are cards that you pull from each and every day during your meditation. Up until that point I had not even considered meditation, but with the arrival of these cards I knew that I had to. So day after day I sat on the floor in my apartment looking over the city of Mississauga and attempted to meditate. I worked on my breath, I tried to still my mind for 10 seconds, let alone 10 minutes, and I pulled three cards. Eventually this practice led me to journalling and that ultimately led me to Gabrielle Bernstein.
The first book I read by her was “The Universe has your back”. It was easy to get through. It taught me how to meditate, and set me on a path of deep journalling. The issue, however, is that for so long I had bottled up my emotions that getting them all out on paper was a gruelling task. It caused me so much anxiety, that there were times when I could not go to class because I was so absorbed in my journal.
Once I had completed “The Universe has your back” I read her next book “Judgement Detox”.
This book kicked my ass.
It took me three whole times to get through it. I could barely make it past the first chapter. It wasn’t difficult to read, it was that in each chapter there was a task you had to perform and they were difficult. They caused me to really dig deep into myself, so much so that by the time I was finished the book I realized that most of the anxiety and depression I was feeling was related to my future plans. I realized that I in no way wanted to be a pharmacist as I had recently thought, and I did not want to live in the city anymore. By January 2018 I had cancelled my pharmacy applications, and Kirk and I made plans to move back home the following April.
This decision was terrifying.
I was known as the ‘academic’. My parents were so proud of my decisions and telling them I was cancelling my application was probably the scariest part of this journey. The thing is, I am convinced that without coaching I would have had a major meltdown after spending another 100K on schooling. I am so grateful that I took the leap when I did, because if I had waited do to finances, or fears I would have ended up spending more money pursuing something that I pretended lit my soul on fire, and I would have been miserable.
Now every single day I wake up ready to take on my business. Some days are not easy. I am nowhere near where I want to be, but I am so much further along in my personal journey than I was even a year ago. This job allowed me to spend the summer really digging into my needs, both emotionally and physically. I was able to spend time researching and creating a meal plan that works best for me, and I was also able to decrease my antidepressant dosage by 50% (I will be 100% off of it in the New Year). I was also able to find more of my passions, such as tutoring, because I listened to the calling I felt when I saw that girl’s post in August 2017.
This investment was worth 110% what I spent. To be honest, I would spend 10x that, because this opportunity has given me the opportunity to become financially stable before the age of 30, become the healthiest I have ever been in my entire life, no longer be dependent on drugs for my happiness, and most of all it has created and strengthened so many relationships.
If you are on the edge of something that could possibly change your life, but is terrifying at the same time, I say go for it! So if you need permission, or a sign from the Universe here it is! Go no, do it!!!