I hate big parties.
I don’t like being around a lot of people at one time. I feel overwhelmed and I always end up saying or doing something stupid.
I also hate being out of the house seven days a week. I need at least one day where I get to stay home all day and not worry about what time I have to leave.
I used to think these things made me weird. I used to think I HAD to like parties. That I was a loner if I didn’t do something every weekend. I felt like I would miss something important if I didn’t go out with my friends. Or worse yet .. if I didn’t go out with them they would talk behind my back.
People talking behind my back is probably my biggest fear.
I used to think that if I didn’t go to every single event the people there would talk about me the whole night. Then I came to two realizations:
1) I am not THAT important that every single person is just going to be discussing me the entire time.
2) I am supposed to enjoy life.
Enjoying life to me is only drinking maybe once a month. Enjoying life to me is avoiding big crowds as much as possible. Enjoying life to me is having a couple of best friends. Enjoying life to me is spending one on one time with my boyfriend.
Once I came to those realizations saying no became much easier.
If I have to work 6/7 days in the week then I will say no to any offer of going out on the seventh. If I am invited to a large party that Kirk is not invited to I will kindly decline. If I am at a social event and I am feeling overwhelmed I will say no to any further engagement and quietly go off on my own.
As I have continued to do this I have realized that people don’t get offended. People actually respect when I set boundaries for myself. I am not grumpy and I am much more enjoyable to be around.
Saying no has increased my happiness and has created much more respect in my friend group.
Is there something that you are struggling with? Are you having a hard time saying no, even if you know it will make you happier? I encourage you to just do it! There really isn’t any steps to follow, but rather to just bite the bullet and begin saying no when something feels wrong. Eventually, it will become second nature to you.