In her book Miracles Now Gabrielle Bernstein outlines three tangible tips when trying to change your patterns. She states that in order to create new habits you must do these three things:
1) Keep it in the day
2) Change your breath pattern
3) Make it joyful
The first tip outlines the fact that when we are trying to form new habits we often think about how it is going to impact us in the future. She uses the example of quitting coffee and how when she was trying to form the habit of not drinking coffee she would think about circumstances far in the future that it may be hard .. for example.. when she was going to Europe. Instead, she says, we should think about how our habits are only going to effect us today. Using her habit she could think about how by quitting coffee she would not feel jittery throughout the day.
The second tip is focusing on a new breath pattern. Breathing deep and powerful breathes whenever you are tempted with the old habits. The third tip is to make it joyful. Create a positive mindset around the habit you are trying to form, and enjoy the process of getting there.
I have many habits that I am trying to form in this New Year, but the main pattern I am trying to break is hiding my emotions. When I was first diagnosed with depression the only way I knew how to make it through my day was to hide my emotions. Instead of feeling ANY emotion I would hide it deep within myself for fear that it was irrational.
This worked for a time.
But inevitably, it couldn’t continue forever. In order to be a good girlfriend, daughter, cat mom, influencer and teacher I HAVE to express emotions. I have to feel empathy towards other people. I have to allow myself to dig deep and really work through my problems so I can be of guidance to others. So this year I have vowed to be more emotional.
Last year I dug deep into me and I worked through some really deep wounds. That was what allowed me to begin the process of getting off of my antidepressants (which I’m officially off as of today!).
Now that I have worked through the deep wounds I have to begin to work on the every day emotions. I was able to heal my unconscious hurt, but I still struggle today to deal with the emotions that come up day to day. I got into the habit of putting them away and then only dealing with them when I felt “heavy” again.
Not this year!!
I vow to stop pushing down my emotions and create a new habit of dealing with them head on.
In order to do this I am going to be using Bernstein’s tips from above. I am only going to focus on today. Each and every day I’m not going to think about the challenges that MAY face me tomorrow I am only going to deal with the emotions that come up in that moment. I am also going to change my breath. Instead of feeling panicky and heavy when a new emotion arises I am going to use my breath to be calm and walk through my emotions with the intention of being better. Finally, I am going to make it joyful. I am going to embrace this new me and really enjoy the path to a more empathetic, emotional Morgan.