Ya’ll I’m shitting my pants.
On Monday, January 28th 2019 ya girl got into a car crash. I’m going to come out and admit it .. it was at least 60% my fault. I was the one who smashed into the back of the ABANDONED car that was parked in the MIDDLE of my lane, but there were also some extenuating circumstances.
For those of you who do not know … I live in Ontario, Canada. Living in Canada means snowstorms and bad weather. Monday just happened to be one of those days. I was driving home right when it started to get really bad and the snow was blistering every where. Because of the snow my vision was completely thrown off and it looked to me as if the ABANDONED (yes I am going to continue to put this in capitals) car was moving. There was another car coming towards me so I slowed down and moved to get behind the car on the side of the road.
I did this for two reasons:
1) I did not think I could safely pass the car without getting into a head on collision.
2) I thought the car was moving so I didn’t want to cut it off.
The speed limit where I was driving was 80km/h and I was already going about 60. When I realized there was a car on the side of the road I slowed down to around 40km/h.
I got to about 6 feet away when I realized that the car actually wasn’t moving. That’s when I went on my breaks and pulled to the left to avoid hitting it, but then the ice caught me. I slid into the back of the car and my hood was dented upwards.
Once I was safely off the road. My boyfriend and I inspected the car (I crashed into it like a one minute drive away from my home). It had one tiny crack in it. That’s how slow I was going when I hit. I was actually going so slow that my body didn’t even move from my seat.
After inspecting the vehicle I called the cops to report the accident. About an hour later a cop arrived. He noted that the other car had very little damage and that it was being towed away. Then he inspected my car. He subjectively determined that my car had over $2000 worth of damage, so he continued to ask for my statement and ultimately charged me with careless.
For those of you who do not live in Ontario or do not know what you get when you are charged with careless.. essentially you have to pay over $500 and you get 6 demerit points. Which is A LOT!! Like a lot, a lot. Thank goodness this guy gave me court date. So on February 28th I WILL be fighting this charge.
The day after the crash I took my car to see a mechanic. He took one look at it (my boyfriend had already flattened the hood) and said it was fine. It was so fine that I don’t have to bring it in until Friday because he is confident that nothing was hit under the hood THAT’S HOW SLOW I WAS GOING!
That really angered me because the cop essentially gave me two reasons why he charged me:
1) because I had over $2000 worth of damage to my vehicle. (WRONG hoods cost like $200)
2) because no one else had hit the car and it had been out there for at least 3 hours prior to me hitting it. (My father-in-law saw it on his way home from work at around 12).
The first reason was SO subjective and the second reason was just stupid. I just happened to be driving when the roads started to get bad and I had a car coming towards me.
I’m going to be honest.. I have been dwelling on this for at least 24 hours. I could barely sleep the night after my crash and I still get that pit in the bottom of my stomach whenever I think about having to go to court.
So many people (including the cop) have assured me that there is a high likelihood I will not be getting charged with careless, but I am still terrified. I have never been in trouble, like ever. Not even in school. I was always the “good” one.
Today when I meditated I pulled the card above. Telling me let go of the relationship. I know the Universe was talking about my obsession with my court date. I can’t do anything about it. What’s done is done. I have to let go and allow this to happen. This is hard for me. I want to control everything, but I can’t.. not this time. This time I have to let it be. No matter what happens I know that everything happened for a reason. Maybe someone else would have gotten extremely injured later on if I didn’t crash into it and got it towed. Or maybe this is a lesson that I need to break sooner. No matter what it is.. I am letting go. I am not going to allow this to mess up my month.
Are you struggling with letting go right now? Take this as a sign to let go and allow the Universe to do her things .. because she really does only want what is best for you!