Even if you have walked through a hard time and thought you healed yourself of those emotions you can go backwards, and that’s okay!

I have been dealing with exactly that when it comes to my money mindset. Back in August I worked really hard to see money as a friend and to realize just how abundant it actually is in the world. I had to work through years of telling myself that I was broke, and cursing money for never being there when I thought I needed it. I had to really take a step back and realize that money was always there, but I was just not treating it like the positive energy it is.

This break through did not happen overnight. I read countless personal growth books over the course of the summer, I wrote about my emotions in my journal every single morning and I began to feel gracious towards money. By the end of August I was finally able to break free of my never-ending judgement towards the energy that flows throughout the world. I was so relieved I finally saw money as a friend, it felt like there was a weight lifted off of my shoulders.

This positive mindset stuck with me even throughout the holiday season as I paid for Christmas presents.

Recently, however, I can feel myself moving backwards into the cycle of doubt and criticism. It is nowhere near the anguish I felt this time last year, but I am definitely not in the same place I was back in August. I am now finding myself feeling slightly anxious as I pay for my groceries, or worried as I think about the days I have missed at work due to the snow. I am also finding myself worrying about the future. Thinking about how although Kirk and I are fine right now, we are not living by ourselves and when we did we were a ball of nerves.

But then I catch myself … I look at how far I have come financially. I am making double the amount of money than I was this time last year. I am finally paying off that credit card debt that has been looming over my head, and Kirk is finally getting to save money for us to buy a house. I also catch myself at the grocery store when I start to feel that all too familiar flutter in my chest. I realize that I do have enough money to pay for the groceries, with money left in the bank for later. I thank the energy that is money as I insert my chip, because I know that money will stick around if I am friendly to it.

The difference between me today and me this time last year is that I have learned the tools I need to get over this negativity, and I have seen the other side. I know how amazing it feels to feel like money can just fall in your lap.

Here is how I got over my negative money mindset, and continue to stay in an upright position when it comes to abundance:

1) I journal my feelings about money. When I feel like it is not abundant enough I write about them, but then I give examples of how it IS abundant enough. I prove those lies wrong.

2) I budget. At the beginning of every single month I put in all of my bills and then as the month goes on I continue to add up how much I have spent and how much I have made. This keeps me conscious of how much money I have. What you focus on grows.

3) I do not hesitate to ask for help. There have been many times in my life where my ego has gotten in the way. I have been too embarrassed to ask for help so I continued to wallow in my self-pity. But I have learned, the hard way, that sometimes asking for help is the best way. I still continue to do this. If I cannot make a payment, or if I know that if I buy something my budget will be tight I ask someone for help. I am so grateful I have people in my life willing to give me financial aid, but they never would have if I did not ask for it.

4) I thank money when it comes into my bank account and when it goes out. I am grateful for every pay check I receive, but I am also grateful for every bill I pay. I am grateful that I have the money to pay for it.

Money is not something physical, it is an energy, and you have to start thinking about it that way. Like energy, there is always enough of it to go around, but it will not come to you if you are constantly saying negative things about it. Abundance is truly an inside job. It starts with your mindset.

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