Today while I was meditating I pulled four very powerful cards.
All of the cards had something to do with giving or receiving love (when I wrote that I thought of when Joey from Friends officiated Monica and Chandler’s wedding and all he kept saying was “giving, receiving, and having” hahha). Anyway.. recently I have been having a lot of internal battles. Along the way I have created this idea of who I am, and over the past two years that has really begun to change. Through personal development and being in a supportive community I have come to unlearn some bad habits, and I have become more open-minded to others opinions. This has caused me to completely change my mindset.. and let me tell ya.. it is scary.
For instance, I used to only believe in Western medicine. I believed there was a pill for everything and if you were sick you just needed to see a doctor and they would tell you everything you needed to know. But I have come to learn over the past year that although Western medicine is amazing when it comes to actually having a disease (I would not want to be anywhere else if I was diagnosed with cancer, or diabetes) it really sucks at preventing diseases. In Western society we are all about curing diseases once they happen, not preventing them. That is where holistic wellness comes in. Holistic approaches help you to find the smaller problem before it becomes a bigger one, and that is what I love about it. But this change in mindset is also scary, because now that I know how important it is to use preventive measures I am more aware than ever when I have symptoms that are not normal. This, of course, causes me to go to doctors. I am afraid, however, that the doctor is going to judge me when I come to him with my symptoms and questions as to tests they could do for me. But I know, that if I do not show my true self and actually care about how I am feeling I will only get worse. That is why when I go to the doctors’ office I will be ready to give my concerns and also open to any advice or judgment they may have. I am ready to receive the loving opinion and be gracious for it, even if I may not agree.
Another thing that is scary is that I realize I hate being the “peacekeeper”. Through a bunch of personal development I have come to accept that I am not a pushover, I am very domineering and I have ways I like people to do things. I have, for way too long, been lenient on how I allowed my clients to show up for themselves and for the supportive page I have made them. By being a pushover, and being afraid of the way people may perceive me, I have not been sharing my truth and that has caused me an insane amount of stress. Recently, I have been open with my community and the response has been amazing. Sharing my truth was probably one of the better things I have done in a long time. It has allowed me to really release a burden that has been on my chest for while, and actually get a good night’s sleep.
You are going to change, and you have to accept that. As you go through your life you are going to learn new information and you are going to meet people who may change you. It can be hard to let go of who you perceived yourself to be, but by doing so you are able to shine your light and accept that love that will come with it. Do not let the person you used to be hold you back from the person you are meant to be.
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